Missing Codes & Fumbled Footballs: Now Don't We All Feel Safe?

Neighbors With News

Contributed By Rich Smith

Folks:

I know that we all lose or misplace things. I have lost sunglasses, sometimes cannot find my keys or reading glasses, misplaced important documents, have left jackets and hats in various locations, but this story takes the cake.

President Bill Clinton lost the “biscuit”.
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So, what in the heck is the biscuit? The President is always within arm’s reach of the “football”, a portable communications device used by the President to order a nuclear attack. The “biscuit” is the card with all the authentication codes necessary to validate a launch order in the case of a missal attack. No codes, no counter attack.

The whole idea of this cold war “mutually assured destruction” strategy is insane and I thank God that it never became necessary to use the biscuit or football, but do you know that it was inoperative for several months while Bill Clinton was President? It turns out that during the Monica Lewinski affair, Bill lost the biscuit.

It is incomprehensible that he lost it, but more to the point for eighteen months, he never told anyone that he had lost it. I guess he had other problems to occupy his mind. But to lose the Biscuit and never tell anyone? Incompetent does not adequately describe such carelessness.

It was not discovered missing until some military aid insisted on replacing the biscuit with a more up to date launch codes. “Oh, you want the old biscuit? Well, I don’t have it. Haven’t seen it for months. Go away I am due in court.”

Here we have tens of thousands of military personnel on standby, ready to launch nuclear missiles from silos or nuclear subs, yet without a Presidential order to launch a counter attack, we might as well just spit at the attackers, or as the present administration would prefer, politely talk to them. “Now Mr. Putin, (or in today’s parlance, Mr. Ahmadinejad or Kim), it isn’t nice to launch missiles at us.”

It makes me wonder about our current president who is not oriented about such things as the military. Are the football and biscuit still around? Russia still has missiles aimed at America, and some nut in that country might try to launch them someday. Does Barack know what the football is or how to use the biscuit? Someone should ask, but this is like asking “Is there still any gold in Ft. Knox”, questions that no one in the administration would answer and for good reason.

Regards.

Editor's Note: As a flaming democrat floating in the green stuff, independently, my left paw (probably my only one) salutes you, Rich.